Nice Work Advice: What if work is actually scary, not "scaries" scary?

Our monthly advice column is back!

Welcome back and happy Monday! We made it to the end of another month, and despite my deep denial that November starts in a few days, we have Halloween to look forward to so, that’s great.

What does Home Depot’s 12-ft skeleton do the rest of the year? Answer: The graveyard shift. 💀

This month we’ve talked about:

How to handle pre-workweek anxiety (known fondly as the Sunday scaries)

How to cope with colleagues & cultures focused on digging up dirt

How to feel less afraid of networking

& how to build confidence without burnout (i.e., how to cosplay as a CEO).

However.

The advice found in these editions won’t do much for you if your chosen working style, workplace, career or motivational strategy is built on fear, transactional relationships, and a lack of boundaries.

The advice often trotted out is to just quit, read a book about one of these topics, or go work for yourself instead.

Cool, good advice - but not helpful if you aren’t in a position to use it.

In this month’s advice column, we’re discussing what to do when quitting your job (or causing an issue that could lead you to be fired) isn’t an option.

Paid subscribers: Be sure to read to the end for your extra Q&A behind the paywall! ✨

Kindly,

Rachel

PS. Last week, we launched our line of complimentary Nice Work merch! If you missed it, you can visit the store here & use the code LAUNCH10 for 10% off. Let us know what you think!

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Nice Work Advice Column

I don’t hate my job, but I definitely don’t love it. I’m good at it, but I feel less and less motivated every day. However, it gives me stability and a paycheck, both of which are good. But when I see or hear people talking about how much they love their work, I start to worry that I’m wasting away where I am. Ignore the feeling? Or act on it?

If your life was a movie or a TV show, where is most of the action taking place? Where does the plot progress most - at work, or not at work? Don’t take into account the hours spent in each place. Instead, think about what you remember most from the past month (in terms of life events).

Examples:

In the Devil Wears Prada, most of the plot takes place at the magazine offices or events of Runway. In Ted Lasso, much more happens at work - whether the stadium, away games, or otherwise - than happens at home.

In the Notebook, most of the big movie moments happen at home or with family. In Gilmore Girls, much more time is spent at home & in the neighborhood than at the Dragonfly Inn.

The “plot” filter can help us see where our life’s most meaningful moments are happening.

For some of us, that may be at work - perhaps because we’re building a company, or running a project we care about. But for others, work feels like the least interesting thing about our lives.

In the “I love my job” crowd, there’s less love for someone that sees work simply as a means to an end. But if that’s you, and if you like your job most days, and if you only doubt it when you’re watching the highlight reel of someone else’s, respect that feeling. Don’t jump to a new job if you don’t want to change the movie.

However, if your motivation wanes (and therefore your performance declines), and you reach a point where even the paycheck & stability can’t make a meaningful difference, it’s time to act.

I *dread* going to work at the moment - the company has lost money, we’ve had layoffs, & the pressure is high on everyone to cut costs & over-deliver. I’m trying not to let the anxiety undercut me, but I’m stressed about it.

Being anxious, worried, and stressed is normal here. You can’t “positive mantra” your way around a bad economic situation. Your brain is on alert, trying to protect you. However, if that protection is manifesting itself as an inability to focus on your work, or poor performance when doing that work, or quickness to anger or frustration with your colleagues, it isn’t keeping you safe.

In seasons of stress, I return to the Stoics (a philosopher group who, contrary to their name, deeply understand how emotions & life affect us.)

A single quote isn’t going to make your life easier today, but I drop it here to encourage you to read their work. Until we master our reactions, our reactions to every situation will master us.

“Wild animals run from the dangers they actually see, and once they have escaped them worry no more. We however are tormented alike by what is past and what is to come. A number of our blessings do us harm, for memory brings back the agony of fear while foresight brings it on prematurely. No one confines his unhappiness to the present.”

— Seneca

(A great way to start exploring this school of thought is this Daily Stoic book.)

I work for myself and I’ve lost some clients/clients have dropped their budgets. I’m trying to land new business but it’s slow - and I’m not sure it’s going to happen. I’m starting to panic about money. At what point do I start looking for a job?

Most business owners I’ve met (even when they are a business of one) have either an intuitive “spidey sense” for how their work is going, or they keep immaculate records that give them the data they need to make decisions.

Every business owner knows this feeling.

Either way, we use these tools to decide:

How many more levers should I pull, or what other buttons do I need to push, to keep my business going? How long can I go in this way, given the liabilities I have right now?

If you’re in the stage of panicking about money, I imagine you’ve used your intuition or your data (or both) to realise that the current slowness isn’t sustainable.

Therefore, a large percentage of your time (50% or more) should be spent right now on getting new business. If it isn’t, start today.

New business can and should include applying for jobs, but keep in mind: The turnaround time for a job offer is much, much longer than someone hiring a new freelancer. Don’t pin all your hopes here if your timeline to broke is…short.

I’m in charge of a team of people who don’t seem to get that the world is *not great* right now. They keep pushing for things I can’t give them (think: raises, bonuses, extra days off, new programs) and I’m hitting my limit of patience. How do I get it through to them that we’re in a season of cutting costs without freaking them out?

&

Someone is refusing to pay me for the work I’ve done. I need the money but they’ve stopped communicating with me. I don’t know what to do aside from keep chasing them.