What terrible party guests and your LinkedIn have in common
The three words killing how you show up online and in print.
There are three party guests people always try to avoid.
First, the over-sharing traveler. They’re back from some trip, leisure or otherwise, with 50+ photos that didn’t make the cut for Instagram but that they desperately want to show you. You’re about to see a lot of selfies and blurry photos of food. Have fun! See you in an hour!
Next, the person who responds to every anecdote, fact and/or observation with an anecdote, fact, and/or observation about themselves. It sort of feels like they’re talking to a mirror - except the mirror is you, and you’re cornered.
Lastly, the friend pairing/couple/colleagues/group of individuals that have morphed into a hivemind, and answer questions only as a collective. Whose opinion about “Wuthering Heights” is that, really? You’ll never know.
👉 This right here is the “I, we, me” trio.
And, besides ruining hypothetical parties, they’re also what is making your LinkedIn (and your inbox/other communications platforms) a terrible place to be.
“I hate LinkedIn. It’s all just people bragging about themselves. I go to post something about what we’ve been doing and just can’t - it feels too cringey.”
“I need to be able to take credit for the wins I’ve had, but when it’s time to send a new business proposal/quote/award application, it just feels like I’m trying too hard and sound desperate.”
“I should probably take more credit for that thing, but I don’t know how to without pissing the other people off.”
We hear some version of these objections from nearly everyone we work with. (And it’s a wide range, from experienced CEOs/partners/MDs to 25+ year experienced corporate execs to first-time entrepreneurs.)
In other words: they don’t want to be bad party guests, so they’re just not going to the party at all. They’re not posting on LinkedIn, they’re not going out for awards, they’re not even taking credit for their achievements when pitching new clients.
Sadly, this is not the way public recognition works.
If you want to:
Get invited to speak at that top-tier, invite-only, exclusive, sexy conference
Be asked by mainstream media to share your opinion on what’s happening
Get recognized and promoted/compensated by your boss/client (or future boss/client) for the wins you’ve won
Or any other version of being seen for what you’ve accomplished
You have to be the one to share what you’re up to, as no one is going to do it for you. And until you do, some other (very loud) party guest is going to get the attention instead.
The good news is: There’s one very easy simple rule you can follow to make this entire process feel much better.
Just avoid using “I”, “me”, “we*” until the very last sentence.
*We = includes company names, if applicable.
Using the “I, me, we” trio too early, in any content, is like bringing a poster-size printout of your face to the party and pinning it to the refrigerator. It screams, “look at me! Look at us!”
It’s…weird.
Yes, some people will look, out of curiosity, but they’re not leaving that evening with a positive sense of who you are.
“But what do I say, then, if the thing I’m trying to share is about me?”
Share something interesting that speaks to the problem you’re solving, or the interest area of the person you’re talking to. Make it about them, and they’ll forgive you for mentioning/bragging on yourself at the end.
This is an image we made years ago, that we still use today, to help coach people into showing up differently:
Posting well is like bringing a cake to the party. Everyone loves cake. Everyone can eat cake.
And they’ll more than appreciate the fact you brought it to the party on your cake stand instead of carrying it in on your hands, crumbs and frosting a go-go. 🤢
It’s a bit hard to understand until you see it, so, here are some examples where the “I, me, we” trio usage is most pernicious, and how to pivot them to be less-self promotional.
“I won an award!”
Whatever award you won - great workplace, best cross-border payments API, leadership accolade, etc., - write about how that, ultimately, affects the day-to-day of the people that pay you. "
Start: “Agency turnover is one of the ways your PR dollars are being wasted. Here’s what to check for to see if your agency is going to have people stay for the long term.”
End: “This is what we’ve heard from our clients, anyway, about where their PR campaigns have gone off the rails. Very proud of the longevity of our team - they deserve all the recognition today from XYZ Award!”
“This huge project I led is now complete/we’ve hit an important milestone!”
Talk about the end experience of the person that pays you and how projects like this support their growth.
Start: "The payoff of running a (successful) 2,000+ person event can be gigantic - for your revenue, for your brand. What makes the difference is…. (exotic location, white glove service, etc. etc.)…”
End: This is what we specialize in - and as a result, we’ve just had our second successful year running XYZ event. Great work team!
“I was quoted in a news story / I went on a podcast / I spoke at an event”
Instead of making the main highlight “I did something”, tell your audience/person that pays you that may be reading this what you said - the original, interesting, helpful info you shared. Still avoid “I, me, we” early on. So instead of, “I went on Bloomberg to say XYZ,” just say: “XYZ.”
Start: “One of the worst contributors to high costs for cross border payments is XYZ. Here’s why.”
End: “Thank you @Journalist Name @Bloomberg for having me on to discuss.”
“We have a new website / we just did a rebrand”
Honestly….you can wait to share this until you have something more interesting, even unrelated, to add in. Your fans will celebrate a rebrand for no other reason outside that they care about you, but in a lot of service-oriented businesses, it sort of looks like, to your client, that you’ve spent money promoting yourself instead of on the work.
Is it rational for them to be weird about this? No - but people are weird.
Some good examples of people we know that have done this well:
Highlighted how much easier it is to find their portfolio companies to see who is the best of the best in XYZ space
Waited and bundled together several milestones, like a lot of high quality hires, putting the rebrand at the end, in order to show scale/growth/ability to meet customer needs
It can be hard to start thinking this way, especially when you’re surrounded by AI-slop content (the robots love to say they’re ‘thrilled’!), but trust us: It works. Like, 80%+ increase in engagements/wins major awards/gets you big revenue-driving deals, works.
Speaking of rebrands! As you may have noticed, Nice Work has had one of its own. We know this is less interesting to anyone but us, but, we love it, and hope you do too.
As we went through this exploratory phase of fonts and colors, we also talked about what we think Nice Work is and should be.
We started this journey as more of a Gen Z/lavender and light pink "sparkle emoji” vibe….
….which, as it turns out, was a mental obstacle to sharing more here, and why we’ve had a bit of a quiet period.
Turns out, we’re not vibey, pastel-colored people. (And turns out graphic designers are something of therapists!)
We decided our goal is to make this newsletter a valuable source of good ideas for “humans in charge” who want to show up and stand out.
And in service of that notion, we are indefinitely pausing subscriptions. There’s plenty of other demands on your attention, time, and resources. If we’re worth the read or a share, that’s good enough for us!
Thanks for sticking around 🙏
This cake metaphor is brilliant. The advice about leading with the problem or value proposition before mentioning credentials is somthing most biz dev folks know intellectually but still mess up in practice. I caught myself doing exactly this last week when pitching a client and had to rewrite the whole opening. That 80% increase stat feels about right for how much better value-first framing perfoms.
To say I’ve learned a lot from you—and continue to do so every day—is an understatement. Brilliant post!