The importance of play
What it does for us, why we don’t prioritize it, and how we can build it back into our lives.
Hi everyone!
As summer streams on, we’re in peak OOO zone. Travel perks up, the weather gets friendly, wedding season pops off (Our co-contributor Rachel is just DAYS into her newlywed status as we speak!) and the beach is, indeed, calling.
Like many of you, I’m fresh off the July 4th holiday long weekend here in the US, which for me, made the rest of the week following it feel sluggish and totally unmotivating. It’s tough to ramp up when we’re gifted a reprieve from our normal work routine.
Instead of being efficient about my long list of projects and tasks, I complained to a friend about not wanting to dooo any of it, and sent a verbal wish up to the stars to drop all my current responsibilities and somehow make a living sifting through soft sands, building rare collections of the smallest and most unique sea shells - my personal hunting-for-treasure-heaven.
My hope to become the “she” who sells seashells down by the seashore was a half-joke when I said it, but it’s not completely out of left field. This daydream was born from a memory - from last September, during a monthlong live/work trip to Mexico. Though I immersed myself in my little Mexican beach town for 30 days straight, it was a single day that has stayed extra ripe in my mind.
Among the many beaches where I stayed, there is one that requires an animalistic climb among big rigid rocks to enter, and because a coral reef lives beneath the water in the cove, the shells + sea-things that wash to shore are especially stunning. I lost myself in my sifting and searching for hours, and I felt such deep satisfaction and fulfillment from my day spent that way.
Why am I sharing all this? Because on reflection, I see the why of my perfect day. I see the building blocks that made sure I left that small experience with recharged batteries and a sense that I was making the absolute most out of my life. I felt this way because my experience was laced with play.
So, let’s take a field trip. And not far! Actually, so close, you don’t have to move an inch. Just a swift drift up to the magic right behind your eyes. This is the playground of your mind. Let’s explore why play is so vital, why it tends to shrink in our systems as we age, and how we can cultivate more of it.
Principles of Play
Aside from the fact that at having fun is well, fun… engaging in play has a way of shaping us into more balanced people, even as adults. For example, the absence of play has shown deficiencies in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that regulates our body and emotions, helps us communicate and gives us the ability to develop empathy, morality and insight. All things we’d want intact through the ages if you ask me.
Play also has the ability to lower our chances of depression and irritability. Being engaged in an activity that encourages imagination and fun for the sake of fun releases endorphins, and lowers cortisol, our stress hormone, too. And interestingly, bringing a sense of play to a challenge at work can help us cultivate creativity and critical thinking, making us more productive.
Dr. Stuart Brown, head of a nonprofit called the National Institute for Play, explains that among other incredible benefits, play takes us out of our usual connection to time. Wow. This fact stopped me in my tracks. We spend so much of our lives on a schedule, which can make a lot of life feel like something we have to do, rather than get to do. But losing track of time because I’m so engaged with something, oddly enough, always stands out as being my most valuable time spent. You too?
Where Does it Go?
For most of us, the untamed qualities of our childhood, where play and free imagination is second nature, get buried a bit as we grow and get told how to be in the world. We take on more responsibility, like starting a job, paying bills, or owning a home, and those things drop us into a more serious take on life. Not for nothing! It’s important for us to nurture our accountability and stability.
That said, we know play still dances inside of us because it’ll make brief appearances on special occasions, when nobody’s looking or when the people we’re with invite it.
My take on why our playful essence gets rarer by the year is twofold:
We de-value it because it doesn’t have a purpose outside of itself
We fear it because we fear being judged
Both are doozies, but tell me, when was the last time you fell into a ditch of regret after laughing too hard or delighting too much?
The bottom line here is that we don’t ever really lose the child inside of us, so we might as well schedule more playdates.
How to Have Fun
One of the best parts of being human is how unique we are from each other. What lights your fire and sparks real joy won’t be the same as what everyone else’s version of play looks like. My blissed-out shell hunt might be a tedious task for you. So, try honing in on your own personal who, what, where, when, and why to set the stage for an epic adult-sized recess.
Who
Who makes you feel safe enough to be your most playful self? In some cases, and for the better, you might even engage in play on your own, like I did in my escapade for seashells. But whether it’s just you, or you + others, the consideration is the same: Can you rely on yourself or the people around you to offer a judgement-free eye as you dive into pure fun?
What
Dr. Stuart Brown of the NIP also points to a collection of 8 play personalities, so if you know it’s time to let loose, but aren’t sure where to start, see which of these resonate with you.
The Joker - enjoys helping people laugh
The Kinesthete - likes to move and be active
The Explorer - prefers going to new places, learning new information, or searching for new feelings
The Competitor - enjoys playing games to win
The Director - enjoys planning and presiding over scenes and events
The Collector - plays by gathering an interesting collection of objects or experiences
The Artist/Creator - finds joy in creating things or making things work
The Storyteller - plays by using the imagination to create, act in, or enjoy stories
Where
Though I almost wanted to say in this section, that you should probably ditch your office space to go find your best play conditions, the reality is, play can happy anywhere, even at work. So it’s less about some places being off limits and more about understanding what places make you feel at ease enough to lose yourself in fun for a little. Look for an environment you feel safe and comfortable in.
When
Now, here’s where I think it IS important to mention work, but really just around the fact that work typically runs on deadlines and timelines. Your best play will come out when you’ve cleared a bit of your schedule. Find the best times for you to totally lose track of time.
Why
All the articles and newsletters in the world may not be able to convince you to prioritize play. But I promise that your “why” will come from a felt experience. Make space and time, do something you love for the sake of doing it, laugh a little and by all means act a bit childish. And then, notice how you feel.
Joy is calling!
Jade