Being a nerd at work

To all the work nerds out there: you are not alone!

What to do when you are a nerd who got a new job, and you’re not perfect at it after one week?

Or, in other words: How do you get through the phase of onboarding at your new job and learning new skills when you’re a job nerd AND a perfectionist?

I am SO excited to share more about it, but I am also already SO tired of this topic. And I’ll tell you why: Because I am also this nerd and a perfectionist. And I truly HATE* not being at least moderately good at something when I do it (even for the first time).

So now, if you have a healthy distance towards these things, you will probably think I’m crazy (You’re new at your job; it’s normal you don’t know how to do these things). Or, if you are one of these people who just get their job done and don’t overthink even a minute of it, then there’s a chance you also won’t get me (Why would someone care so much about work?). But if you know, you KNOW.

*I must say I have been working on my approach for at least a year now (thanks to my partner, sessions with Flor, Rachel! and mostly, thanks to my own work on it), and to be honest, HATE might be too much of a word already. But I still struggle when it comes to admitting I did something wrong (or not perfect, or didn’t know how to do something)

Okay, let’s start from the beginning. First of all, if you can’t relate to my story up until now, please, please, continue reading. If you are a boss, a manager, a colleague, or a partner - there’s a chance someone you work/live with IS struggling with these issues. So maybe it’s good to know a bit more about it.

Secondly, you have probably heard it around a billion times by now, but seriously, it is okay not to be perfect at something when it’s new to you. It is even okay not to be perfect at something after a year of doing it. And yes, there’s no such thing as being perfect.

Let’s change this phrase to: being an expert. Because this is what all we, job nerds of this world, really want: to do our work at an expert level. But, when you think about it, it would be kinda crazy to become an expert in something after the first orientation week, right? Also, it would be boring. Why? Because nerds love the learning part. Even when it’s hard, when it’s sweat, blood, and tears, we still love it (which is pretty freaky if you ask me)

Now, some bullet points.

1. You won’t be perfect / an expert for months, even years, after starting your new job. Depending on the industry and specifics of your work, learning new skills takes time. Even if you just changed jobs and not the industry, there are still many new things to learn: procedures, communication tools, structure of meetings, etc. You would need to be a psychic to jump straight into it, knowing it all.

2. It is okay not to be perfect / an expert until you keep trying, learning, and improving. When you say, “I don’t know how to ski, I am terrible at it,” and you have never tried to ski in your life, you’re:

   1. Lying

   2. Not giving yourself a chance to try, fail, and learn

      
      If you tried skiing 3 times and never even stood on the skis once, then, yes, maybe you are not good at it. But it’s seriously rarely the case. And yes, this is what I was saying up until last winter. And guess what: I am still not an expert in skiing, but I could go down the mountain and not break a leg/kill anyone on the way. This is called progress.
      

   

   See? Nobody’s perfect. Is it already okay to post memes with American politicians? I hope it is, otherwise, you must forgive me: I am originally from Poland and I feel distanced enough to use Obama memes in my article

3. Think about the words you’re using (perfect/terrible/hate/fail). There’s no such thing as perfect. The situation is rarely terrible (I mean, if your house is on fire, then it’s pretty terrible. But if you made a typo in an email, sure, not ideal, but far from being terrible.) And you’re rarely terrible at something.
   
   Look how different it looks and feels:
   
   Option A: I am terrible at preparing these reports. My manager is going to hate me. She needed to review my work for an hour, and I made so many mistakes that she’ll probably fire me.
   
   Option B: I am definitely still learning how to do these reports. I’ve never done projects like these before, so I guess my manager will understand it. I will check all her edits and reviews to learn how to do it better next week.
   

4. Regarding the previous bullet point ☝️: COMMUNICATE and ASK QUESTIONS. If you struggle with a task, communicate it before the real fire starts. If you work in a healthy work environment (and I hope you do!), there surely is a place for honest conversations. If you were assigned a task and have seriously zero clue how to approach it, it would be better to say it straight away and ask for help/guidelines. Your manager will appreciate this sincere approach, and everyone will be happy when the task is done on time. Remember: It is FINE not to know how to do something.

   

5. Collect wins. We all have worse days, and work nerds might have them even more often. Why? Because to us, not delivering 100% at work every day, every month, and every year feels like a failure. And it’s not! We are all humans. We all have better and worse days. It’s just important to approach them in the right way and know how to pivot to another task sometimes.
   
   We’ll cover it a bit more in the future. But, yes - collecting your wins is important. Great appreciation email from your client? Screenshot it. Won an award for the company or your client? Make a note about it. Collect all these in Slack, Notion, on your phone, whatever. Just keep them in one place and take a look into that folder when you’re doubting yourself. You might not be that terrible as today you thought you were.
   

6. Work on your approach. It all takes practice. The biggest first step is to acknowledge that you may be too harsh on yourself and/or have problems communicating that you don’t know how to do something. Remember, again, it’s not a failure. It’s a sign you’re working on a better version of yourself (omg, I will become a coach in a second). It will help you grow in your new role, grow in a (professional and/or personal) relationship, and, ultimately, it will show people around you that you’re not afraid of admitting mistakes and that you’re willing to learn from them. And believe me, it’s a great superpower.

So, if you’re a work/life nerd, I’m sending you my love and understanding. Keep working on it, it’s much easier when you let go sometimes! And, if you know any work/life nerd, I hope you can understand them a bit better now.

Until the next time!